nintendon't presents
▶ UNOFFICIAL SHOWCASE
▶ DESIGN
Crystal ball form factor. Touchscreen removed because you can't touch things inside a crystal ball.
*ball is openable but still no touch support
▶ NEW JOYSTICK TECH™
All inputs multiplied by 360°. Every direction maps to exactly straight up.
← → ↑ ↓ = ↑
angle × 360 mod 360 = 0
Try out the new joystick tech demo →
angle × 360 mod 360 = 0
*Requires a game controller of any sort to be connected for the full experience, unless you wanna play without them.
▶ SKINEXT™ SENSOR
Has ALL Kinect features. Made them worse. Required for every game. Just Dance still has bad tracking.
$369 — sold separately
▶ FEATURES
Internet Browser — worse than Wii's
File Manager — can't download anything
Developer Mode — locked forever
File Manager — can't download anything
Developer Mode — locked forever
▶ AUTO-ZIP EXTRACTOR (uses 25% of RAM)
Extracting...
Progress: -36.0%
Comes with our own spin* on malware — 💣 ZIP Bob-ombs™!
*pun not intended... or is it?
♪ ♩ ♪ ♩
At Nintendo, we believe in innovation.
And by innovation, we mean making your old problems worse and selling the solutions for more money.
PREORDER NOW
Coming whenever your dad finally comes back with the milk
Nintendo Switch 360°
IT'S NOT A STEP FORWARD. IT'S A FULL 360° BACK TO NONSENSE.
This webpage (which is still a work-in-progress) was mostly generated with Claude by Anthropic."Created" by Adrien "AdrieNova" / "LSPECTRONIZTAR" Williams for fun.Font used is available on font.download.Not an actual Nintendo product you gullible people. This is entirely a satirical fanmade concept and not affiliated with Nintendo. No infringement intended.